quick post

Brad's home and it's been fucking great to have him back.

I went for a job interview this morning and I'll be hearing back from him either tomorrow or Monday so everybody say a prayer so I have a lot of power points!

I think I'm falling sick because I woke up from my nap feeling cold as fuck but with my body burning like fireeeee....

Random convo;
Laila: Take some vitamin C and panadol.
Me: But i only have juice.... and weed....
That's kinda the same innit?
Laila: PANADOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Lmao

Lovelove!

wishing and hoping and waiting and dreaming!

I.
Am.
So.
Freaking.
Excited!

Brad is coming back home to Melbourne on SUNDAY!

That is soooooooo soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I will be seeing him in a day and a half. I think... I'm still not too sure what time his flight gets in but oh my god I don't care. If he doesnt email me I will go to the airport at 12 a.m. and wait till he walks out the doors.

I cannot wait to see him. I cannot imagine the feeling I will feel when I have his arms around me and when I finally kiss him again after 4 months. I believe it will surpass pure happiness.
It's little things like holding his hand or having him next to me in bed and feeling his warmth that I miss the most.
Our long talks and our short talks and our big discussions and our little fights are sorely missed.

HURRAY!

Hide and stow and lock and throw.

You know...

It seems to me that people are always full of advice for you and others around them. Whenever someone I know has a problem, there is always that somebody who will fly in and attempt to save the day with their pearls of wisdom.

I am not condemning these people because I seem to be one of them most of the time.

It's not like I try to be Miss-goody-two-shoes because Lord knows I'm far from it. Also I'm not trying to make it sound like i know it all because WE all know that I don't.

I guess, I like being THAT person.
The one that helped you get through it.
The one that nudged you the right way.
The one that listens when you need me to
and never stops talking after.

Trouble is, I don't give people opportunities to be THAT person to me because as much as I like to think that I am open about myself and my problems and the shit that I'm personally going through... I'm not.

I tend to hide and stow and lock and throw.

I don't give people the chance to save me because every time they try I mentally push them away and emotionally close them out. I hate myself for doing that because that does that mean that I'm not open to change? Ergo making me a hypocrite?

I hate hypocrites.

I don't know when or why I started blocking people off from the me inside of me that i hide so well. What I do know is that I do want to change and I do want to open up.

Don't ask me to open up to you now or anytime soon because I don't think I'll be ready for that. I'm trying and trying is always a huge effort for me.


In other news... my baby is coming back on Sunday!
















I cannot wait! We haven't seen each other since the 7th of October!
















Now I only have to wait about 60 hours or 7200 mins or 432000 seconds.

Not like I'm counting.... or anything....
















Love love!

Person Person

Hello...

I'm tired oh so tired but not sleepy. Hate it.
We have a house inspection tmrw and I'm nervous because the house is SHIT!
Fuck. Shit. Fuck. Shit. FUCK!
*breatheeeeeee*

Here we go... hopefully this will make me smile.

1. Put your music on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!
4. Tag friends who might enjoy doing the memo as well as the person you got the memo from.
--------------------------

---------------------------------------

IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
Let it take you - Goldfrapp

WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
Goodbye to Mother and the cove - Clap your hands say Yeah

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Through the Loop - Pendulum

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
Seemed like a good idea at the time - The Darkness
How spot on is that?!? LOL

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
Man - The Bird and the Bee
I'm seriously not rigging this! Lmao!

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Stay - Lisa Loeb
Because I'm so freaking awesome they never want me to leave... :P

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Burn down the Parliament - The Herd
This survey is so apt... its scaring me.

WHAT IS 2+2?
Time out from the world - Goldfrapp

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
The opposite of Hallelujah - Jens Lekman (HAHAHAH!!!)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Trouble sleeping - The Perishers
this is quite true... because I don't like sleeping alone.. *sobs*

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
K.I.S.S.I.N.G - Flight of the Conchords
I love this survey!

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
New Light of Tomorrow - Husky Rescue

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
20 Years of Snow - Regina Spektor
It's actually quite a lovely and meaningful song that I wouldn't mind being played at my funeral...

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
For all the times - Abraham
Awwwwwwwww!

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
A Whole New World - Alladdin Disney Soundtrack...
Yes... I have Disney songs on my iPod.

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Future Reflections - MGMT
So not true... because i HATE thinking about the future. Scary la...

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Clarity - John Mayer

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
One Love - The Prodigy

WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
Sipping on the Sweet Nectar - Jens Lekman
But that sounds soooooooo niceeeeeeeeeee!!! If that said sweet nectar is alcoholic... :D

WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
Distant Sense of Random Menace - Urthboy
It really does make me cry... because this song is all about the injustice of war and the pointlessness of hate.

WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
Emily Jean Stock - Clap your hands say Yeah

WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
again and again - The Bird and the Bee
Making the same mistakes constantly i guess... never learning.

HOW WILL YOU DIE?
Water and Sleep - Mirah
LMAO! More like Beer and Lack of Sleep.

WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
Here it goes again - OK Go
Hmm.... maybe multiple times? Lol

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Let You Go - Kaskade
Because I'm such a pain in the ass to keep at home... hehehe

DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
The Girls - Calvin Harris
"I like them black girls, I like them white girls, I like them asian, I like them mix strait girls, I like them spanish girls, I like them italian girls, I like them french girls, I like them scandinavian girls."


WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?
Flicks - Frou Frou

IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
Do what you want - Ok Go

WHAT WOULD YOU SAY, WHEN YOU MEET YOUR BOSS?
RESPECT - Aretha Franklin
Again... so apt.

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
Person Person - Mirah

Okay... guess I'm feeling a little bit more amused.

Good night!

Lovelove.

Epic weekend!

Hello hello!

Been not updating as usual... *slaps self on wrist* Bad ME!

Anyway... alottt has happened since I last properly updated. (Time fillers do not count as a proper post)

I had an epic weekend yet again! Saturday was spent hanging around the city and then going out into the city to celebrate one of Sarah's friends birthday. We went to a place called Dracula's which is a themed comedy cabaret theathre. Pretty damn cool and I highly recommend it to anyone who doesn't mind a bit of cheese on their comedy.

The show (4 hours long) was really good, funny and original.
The cast and staff were amazing!
The food (3 course meal) was pretty good for the price we paid.
The cocktails were WONDERFULLY DELICIOUS! And potent. We like potency.

After the show, we (being Sarah, her two friends from Sydney; Hannah and Amelia, me and a whole bunch of Sarah's friends from the party) headed to Red Violin which is a little club on the corner of Swanston and Bourke. It plays really good music to dance to and if you go early enough you can enjoy all of it on a dancefloor without the sleazy guys and toe steppers. FUN!

On Sunday, Sarah and I took the Sydney siders to St.Kilda to see the beach after having $4 pizza's at Lucky Coq, which we all adored as expected. Turned out there was the art market on so how lucky are we? I bought a couple of photos... adorable little robots! Woo!

Then later at night, Sarah, Emily and I headed to our friends' (Anj & Nim) wedding reception. They are Sri Lankan so they had their wedding as well as a reception in Lanka, and for the unfortunate ones who couldn't fly over, had another one here! YAY for us unfortunates! It was such a wonderful experience with the dancing, the food, the touching speeches and personal songs. We felt so touched to be able to be a part of the joyous and memorable occassion. I hope God blesses them with a happy marriage.

I also got to live one of my life long dreams which was to RIDE in an antique car. Yes.
I GOT TO RIDE IN A 1920's FORD! It was UNBELIEVABLE!
Sarah and I befriended the old man on our table and it turned out that he owned the antique car which the bride and groom arrived in and the lovely man, Mr.Lyall, allowed us to come with him while he was checking on his baby and take photos in it... then later as he was leaving with his wife, he asked if we would like to go around the block in it.
Of course, I nearly died on the spot with all the excitement running through my veins.
It was amazing! I nearly cried. Yes, I am a geek when it comes to antique cars. Well, not really since I know next to nothing about them except that they are beautiful things that I would love to own but know I never will. BOO!

Anyway, I'm off to check on the dinner... that I MADE. Yea... that's right.
I cooked.
And I cleaned the house.
I'm Suzy homemaker! Woo!

Here's a photo of me in the car!















Love love!

boredom filler

I tag anyone who reads this.

Rules: Once you’ve been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you.

1. I am heading out tonight with Sarah and her friends.

2. I am still recovering from last night. Twas rather massive.

3. I just realised how lazy people were back in the day when they said "Twas" and "Tis".

4. I miss Brad... well actually I'm just wondering whether he's alive or not.

5. Bunnies scare me.

6. So do stomachs that stick out of the carrier's clothes.

7. I burnt myself with my ciggarette today and now there's this big white blister mark. It stings like a bitch when I shower. Lovely.

8. I'm heading to BDO Melbourne on Monday! Way too much excitement pumping through my veins.

9. I straightened my hair. I don't know why... not like it made a huge, or any, difference.

10. I spent the whole of today recovering in my living room watching Gossip Girl.

11. Sarah is making orgasm noises in said room right now... I think she's imitating Australian Open tennis players.

12. I need to pee.

13. I had a million and one bags before I left Melbourne and now... I can't find them. :(

14. I keep finding money all over my room though... which is excellent!

15. I'm wearing my carolling outfit and it feels wierd to be going out in this knowing I'm not going to be singing Jingle Fucking Bells.

16. This past Christmas, I grew to hate Jingle Bells, Rudolph, Frosty, Silent Night and O Holy Night. ALOT.

17. My laptop is burning my burn. Not fun.

18. I thought it would be easy thinking of things to write but it's really not.

19. I could not imagine having size H boobies.

20. I'm perfectly happy with my B/C cup boobies.

21. I have approximately 10 soft toys in my room. I love them all equally because I do not discriminate.

22. I dream of riding camels for a living.

23. I bought a new toy and it's excellent!

24. I want a puppy.

25. I am gonna get soooooo drunk tonightttt


LOVE LOVE!

Sleep. Or lack of it.

I suffered the most amazing bout of insomnia last night.

I tried everything.
EVERYTHING.

I tried watching an entire season of Heroes.
I tried reading half a book.
I tried staring at my ceiling thinking thoughts so my head would be clear.
I tried singing myself to sleep.
I tried reading somemore.
I jumped online and chatted to people and read somemore.

Next thing I know... it was 5 in the morning and the sun was rising.
I buried my head under pillows...
nearly died.
Came out and it was 6 in the morning.



The only good thing is, I got to chat to Brad.
I miss him. :(

Tests

Life is funny like this... it throws you off course when you least expect it to.
But like I've been told time and time again and what I keep telling myself,
"God does not give you what you can't handle."

So, I can handle this. I have other options
but I just have to sit down and decide what I want to do.

Having faith is hard when it's continually tested.

I'm sad...but I'm okay.
I'm confused...but I'll work through it.
I'm hurt...but I'll heal.



Thanks for your support across the seas. Love you all!

Failed. Again.

I didn't get accepted into Monash.
I had all hopes of getting in but didn't...
Guess I should have realised they wouldn't want a failure like me.

Back to the drawing board.

A chapter of The Jo Book.

Hi loves,

Well, I was reading a friends blog post about new chapters in this crazy thing we call life. It got me thinking about my own new chapters in life that I have experienced over the years and what chapters I'm next about to page through.

I think that I have not handled very many things in my life as gracefully or appreciatively as I could have. For example; moving to Australia.That was probably the hugest, thickest, most complex chapter in The Jo Book.

The heroine was forced to move away from her family, who she loved so dearly and could not even bear the thought of living a day away from; her friends, who she knew would always be there for her through thick and thin because they were those kind of friends who are hard to find; her love, who she just recently found and loved with a new kind of love so different from the rest that it broke her heart to even imagine not being able to hold him again.

This heroine kicked, screamed, gave a fight all in order to not go to the crazy country Down Under. Her mother, however, insisted that it would be "good for her future", "good for her life", "good for her education".
So, she left everything she knew and loved behind to a land that was full of strangers and strange creatures.

Everyday was a new, frightening day for this heroine of ours. She lived her days passing time thinking about how wonderful it would be to go home. She locked herself up in her room looking through photos and reminiscing. She spent her nights crying endless tears. She spent her dreams restlessly dreaming about life back home.

Even after she made friends in Australia, she could not accept the fact that her life was now here and not anywhere else. She HAD friends who loved her, she HAD family who would always be there, she HAD lots of cute potential heros around.She refused to see that the life she had now was perfect, no complaints were necessary.

Unless you were a spoiled, selfish, unappreciative little brat like herself.

A few years passed and she found her hero. Her hero was an amazing person, with a heart of gold, will of steel and the charms of an angel.

The hero and heroine lived a happy life together in love for 2 and a half years where she learnt how to live life, how to enjoy it and appreciate what gift has been given to her. Hero had a wonderful relationship with his and her family which made the heroine realise just how loving the family she had with her, there and then, was. She knew she had family in her home town, but her family who was with her was just as important. She realised how her friends there was just as important and loved her just as much as her friends back home. She knew that her love for this hero was beyond the love she experienced before she left. That was when she realised, how lucky she was to have two sets of lives that were just as important as each other.

Now, this heroine was living the exact same life she would have had in Malaysia except, she was in Melbourne. She has a group of friends who would do anything, a huge family that she can go over and see anytime, a fantastic relationship with her parents and brother and a boyfriend who loves her.

The end.


That's ONE chapter of my life. I don't think I'm ready for the next.

Love love,
jo

new babyRobot!

So today
I went shopping with my mum.
All we wanted to do was get a new
battery and adaptor
for my old laptop.
Then
when the Dell dude told me
that the battery and adaptor
alone
would cost AUD400
i said, WTF
and
mum said
That computer looks good.

Hence
I got a new laptop.
My new
babyRobot.

LOVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE ITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is my Melbourne...

Hi all,

Back in Melbourne and loving it.

It was probably the worst flight I've ever been on in my whole entire life. All thanks to this one guy who was coughing his lungs out so hard that I could literally hear the pleghm being tossed around in the back of his throat from two seats in front of him.
Gross.

Mum and the Pinnocks picked me up from the airport after I was harassed by the Customs officer who thought there was meat in the Yee Sang (long life noodles) I brought back because on the ingredients it said there was "Pok" in it. It was like "Hirisan Pok something something". Lol.

Got home and hung out with mum and then later in the evening Jordan came over for dinner. We then went to Vic Market to meet up with Roy and Samantha... too bad for me that the night market was coming to a close. So we headed off to Rooftop but didn't manage to go in because we weren't on the "guest list". Fucking guest list my ass. They just didn't like the fact that we were wearing hoodies. Bah. NO MORE ROOFTOP FOR ME.

We went to a much cooler place anyway. St. Jeromes is a fucking wicked place... if you get a table like we did. It's not really that nice when you have to stand around in people's way and people fall on you. Ha.

Tonight I went for a house cooling party and it was good catching up with people and making new friends. I got home at 1.30 (about an hour ago now) and have spent my time watching Spongebob on telly with a glass of wine. Classy, eh?

Pictures will be up soon. Too much of shit to do before finding time to sit in front of a computer uploading pics.

Alright, off to bed before i pass out.

Love love.

5 more days!

Hey loves and lovelies,

I've only got 5 more days till I leave on a plane to go back home for another 11 months. It's quite scary because I have no idea what I'll do once I get home. I'm scared I won't find a job. I'm scared I won't get accepted into uni. I'm scared my life will fall into a massive shit hole and I won't be able to get out.


In other news, my left hand hurts like crazy. Specifically my middle finger. I don't know what I did to it but it really really hurts. Feels like my finger is about to break off or something.

I'm waiting for Angie to pick me up so I can eatttttttttt dinner. Hurray he just rang he'll be here soonish. I hope.

On Saturday, me and a huge group of people are going to play with elephants at Kuala Gandah! We get to feed, bathe and ride the elephants. All for free! Isn't that fantastic? Who's going... well there's me, Thayne, Mae, Megan, Laila, Nicky, Derrick, Kristie, Jon, Joanne, Celina, Amir and Jacq. Belle and Parin might come but I'm not too sure yet.

I'll be getting my tattoo soon! Hurray!!!! BOO for Sheyna who was supposed to accompany me but now can't because of her back operation. :(

Alright, this finger is killing me. So i'm going to go now...

Love love,
jo