What gets me through the day

When I'm feeling down and feel like life is shit, which has been a lot of the time lately, I really forget to think about what makes my life so much better than what I think it is. I have so many things to be appreciative for and it's really easy to focus on what is bad rather than what is good because I guess that's just the way we work.

I have a fantastic family who no matter where they are in the world will pick up on my feelings and give me a call, email or text to see how I am. My mum, dad, brother, cousins, aunt's and uncles who all look out for me and give me advice and love me no matter what I do. I'm so happy I have such a tight knit family which I know I can rely on and I know they will always be there for me. Without them, I will defintely not be the person I am today and I really love them all with everything in my heart.

My boyfriend, even though he is a man of few words and even fewer hugs... I know that he loves me to bits and when I'm feeling down and can't explain why, he just lies next to me and gives me a big bear hug because that's pretty much what I need at the time. I can be myself around him and I like that no matter how much I moan, groan, whine, bitch and cry about the silliest things, he knows how to make me laugh after it all. I love you!

My friends, from friends I've known for years and friends I've known for months, all of them are priceless to me. My theory in life is that everybody comes into each others lives for a reason and no matter how long they stay, they made a change or impact to you, even if you don't realise it now. I've had friends who have been around for a couple of months and they've helped me through the hardest points of my life and I've had friends who I've known for years and years and they've been through everything with me as I have been through everything with them. There are the friends who I don't see or talk to for a year and when I go back to Malaysia, the relationship we have is as strong as it ever was. I know how lucky I am to have friends like you and I am so thankful. I love you all.

My cat, well, technically not MY cat, but whatever. Ollie, who came into my life when I probably needed him the most. Looking for a job means that I'm broke which means that I can't do much going out which thus means that I stay at home alot. Ollie has been there to cuddle with me when I'm alone at home (which is most of the time). I know it sounds silly but I hate being alone and having him here with me is better than no one.

And yeah, the people in my life make my life everything it is and I'll try to remember that next time I'm feeling depressed, unwanted and basically like shit.

Love love!

Packing it in

Do you ever feel like things are never going to happen for you?
Every hope I hope for, every time something happens to me, it falls apart.
I just want to go home. I think I'll be quite happy if I left this country and went back to Malaysia.
Or maybe if I just went to a different country all together.
I feel like my time is up for me in Melbourne. Nothing is falling into place.
I'm always thinking about how much better my life could be elsewhere.
Time to start my change.

Good morning sunshine!

Holy crap it's bright outside!

I was having a really wierd dream about how someone was filling my car in the Taman Tun petrol station and then as they were filling it, my car was accelerating and the more petrol was put into it the faster it went and I had no control. So, I was freaking out a lot. And I guess that's why Brad decided to wake me up by blasting the speakers with crazy music on.

Then he proceeded to open the curtains in our room.

Now, let me paint a picture for you. I like sleeping in darkness therefore I block out every source of possible light that might shine into this room. The curtains, thank the good Lord, are made of this crazy heavy dark brown material so noooooo light passes through at all. There's this little window above our bed which I've blocked out the sun using a pillow and the windows in our doors have been covered with dark blue clothes AND a sarong that I added. 

So what does my boyfriend do to wake me up? Flings the curtains open! Removes the pillow from the window! And opens the doors!

NOOOOOOOO!!!! I need to sleeeeppppp! God, he sucks sometimes.
I jest. I do love him. But being woken up when I still want to be sleeping is the worst feeling. Not like I have anything else to do with my time. 

Although, I do have an interview today. I'm trying not to jinx it by talking about it too much, but if you know me, you'll know that I can't keep my mouth shut for too long.

If this job thing doesn't work out, I'm going to be using some of the money from my next paycheck from the government to buy some materials so I can start making some jewellery. Just for personal use and maybe presents for people... since I'm too broke to buy presents.  

Alright I'm off, I'll leave you with a picture of the most stress I have to deal with in a day.

Ollie on my laptop

Love love!

 

Stop the need

The other day, I watched a documentary called 'The Cove' and it really affected me. Maybe it's because I was feeling a little bit emotional that day and I was in crazy mood swing town, but it still left me feeling so... BAD.

Did you know that 23,000 dolphins are murdered every year in Taiji, Japan?
No joke. Although I wish I was.

This documentary highlights the fact that these Japanese fishermen are trapping dolphins that swim through their waters into this cove and then what they do is go through them looking for bottlenose dolphins so they can sell them to Sea World, and other aquariums that do dolphin shows and then they KILL the rest. Of course, the bottom line for these people is the money involved. They get $150,000 for a live dolphin and $600 for a dead one.

They then sell the meat to local butchers and supermarkets passing it off as whale meat because that is what the Japanese like to eat as they believe it's the healthiest meat on the market. The most ironic part of the story is that dolphin meat is loaded with mercury and is highly toxic to human beings. They're giving themselves mercury poisoning and killing themselves as well as thousands of other innocent Japanese people who have no idea this is happening in their country. Karma really is a bitch.

I cried my eyes out watching the cruelty and the heartlessness inflicted upon these poor little dolphins. These animals have done no wrong to us and in fact are more intelligent than we think they are. There are so many stories of dolphins saving human beings from drowning, and from being attacked by sharks. Sailors believed that the creatures singing out from the sea and rescuing them from their ships were human, thus the stories of mermaids.

One of the points of this doco was to expose this cruelty to the International Whaling Commision (IWC) and the leader of the group, Ric O'Barry, was actually the trainer of the most loved dolphin in the world, Flipper.
After the dolphin who played Flipper died in his arms, he made it his mission in life to save all dolphins from captivity and his efforts have gotten him put into jail many times. Do you think that stopped him from saving more? Hell no.

From now on, I'm going to do my bit by spreading the word about this movie as much as I can. Doing my bit to make people more aware of what is happening and I'll be donating a sum of money to Sea Sheperd which is a non-profit, marine conservation organization. I also will not be going to any more zoos, aquariums and sea world type establishments.

The only way to stop the need is to stop the demand.

Love love!

Drugs & Addiction

Growing up, I've come to know a lot of people that do drugs on a regular basis. I admit that I have experimented with a few but never really got into it that much, to which I'm thankful of because with the people that I've come to know, I also saw how their lives deteriorated.

It saddens me that I know so many people who either do drugs frequently and also who do drugs once in a while but if it's in front of them they'll take it, no matter what it is.

A person very close to my heart does this. He won't take drugs or buy his own but if there's a edible chemical in front of him, trust me, it will go down. Be it coke, speed, weed, acid, ecstacy, it doesn't matter. As long as it's there, he'll do it. Now, for someone to take drugs, I feel there has to be a purpose. I don't really like it when people do drugs for the hell of it. If there's no reason to take it, then why do it?

If you're not depressed, or if you're not going out to party all night long, if all you're doing is staying at home or going to work in an hour then why do that line of speed?

Some of you who read this may think, "Get off your freaking high horse and stop judging." I'm not judging you or people I don't know, in fact I'm not even judging. I'm just in a right state of perplex as to why people would do that to their bodies knowingly without even knowing for sure what is in the drugs they're taking.

There's a new drug on the market that has a chemical that's put into fertilizer in it and apparently it's all the rage. Why? Because it gets you high quicker. It doesn't matter that this chemical is used in fertilizer, no of course not. Why would that matter if it gets you high as a kite in a few minutes? I may smoke and I may drink but at least I know what kind of chemicals are going into my body (yes, I've read up on it in my attempts to quit).

So, what I'm saying is that I just wish people would take a step back and look at what they're doing before they do it because if the addiction to that high gets out of control, it's not very nice for anybody involved.
If you know someone who is addicted to drugs, get them help before it's too late. There are plenty of services out there for people affected by drugs and alcohol, get to it.

Love love.

Milkman

About half an hour ago, I heard a knock on my front door and opened it to find a young guy. He looked at me while leaning against my pillar and said in his best James Bond voice, "Hey, I'm Jo your local milkman."

I couldn't help but break into laughter and he smiled, obviously happy getting the reaction he wanted.

We had a chat about what being my "local milkman" actually entails and also because he seemed to be alot like me in the way that we both go off topic alot, we ended up having a chat for half an hour. We bonded over the greatness of having a name starting with 'Jo', we talked about the neighbours with sticks up their arses, crazy housemates and parties we've thrown. We even ended up sitting on the chairs in my front porch while attempting to get my details for the delivery order.

Yes, I now have a milkman who will be coming to my house once a week to deliver me bread, milk and juice. How awesome is that?

Unfortunately, my fantasy that all men of labour (including milkmen) are super hot has failed me this time. But I guess I'll just keep hoping that the next guy that comes around, be it a plumber, electrician or a gardener has the James Bond looks and not just a weak (albeit funny) impersonation of his voice.

Love love!

Coasting

When I'm on a train, my mind goes *blank*. I don't really think about anything. Instead, I listen and observe.
I listen to other people's conversations which can be rather interesting sometimes but most of the time it's just amusing.

I observe people and what they're reading, wearing and doing. I then start to wonder if they are happy with the life that they have and if they're happy. I wonder if it's all they ever dreamed it would be.
Or are they like me?

Coasting along mindlessly on the train tracks of my life. I'm waiting for my next stop but at the speed I'm going, it doesn't look like I'll be getting anywhere fast.

I guess it's time to get in to the driver's seat.