singledom

if being single encompasses things like

loneliness
sadness
hurt
being the worst person in the world
being scared to sleep without his arms around me
knowing i cant hold his hand or kiss his lips again
losing his family
losing his friends
losing him

then i dont think i want to be single anymore.


this has got to be one of the hardest points of my life thus far... i know i might sound a bit drama for some but if i do then obviously you dont understand...

jordan has been the only person i've loved for 2 and a half years... losing him is like losing half my heart and right now i'm so confused i dont know what i want and what i dont want.

do i want to be with him? yes
do i want to have my own life? yes
do i want to have a life with him? yes
do i want to think bout myself? yes
do i want to think for him as well? yes

what the fuck is with all these questionS??
this is why i hate confrontation... it makes me think and analyse and realise the shit that is actually happening in my life is really REALLY shit.

i hate it....

be my penguin?