probably time for a proper post

hello loves,

well.. there has been quite alot happening in my life recently but yea its too complicated and really not that much of a big deal although it seemed like a massive deal at the time....

see? complicated kan? lol.

anyway... i've been doing nothing much but chilling at home, chilling w my girls (caryn&krista), hanging at uni (no i have not become a geek but i wish i have), doing shit all uni work until the last minute of course... and yea stuff and things.

Oh yeaaa... i play netball every monday now. Its good exercise but because i've started smoking again i feel the effects of smoking on sports alot more... its not good. but oh well... i guess i just wont smoke before i run anymore... lesson learnt. thanks.

I alsoooo got a job at a call centre as an operator selling products for one of Australia's major telephone companies (optus). i got it last night actually... and i was supposed to go for training today... but then......... i kinda realised that i dont want to be a call centre operator who gets screamed and abused. i'd prob burst into tears half way.... and plus they wanted me to work 4-5 days a week...
while studying? i think not.

So yeaaaaa.......... i was up till 5 chattin online and then i conveniently slept in while i was supposed to be on the way to training. oh well...

(I think mum is not talking to me because i didnt go today... -_-)

Today I went for lunch w caryn on chapel street... we went to lucky coq and it was cooooool. man, the ceaser salad pizza stuffed me silly. caryn's smoked salmon pizza was awesome too... and all this for a grand total of $3 each!!! walauuuu... cool eh? lol.

we also went shopping... i..e SHE went shopping while *I* tortured myself by looking knowing i cant buy anything with the lackage of money i am in possesion of. bah!

caryn got a nice white shirt and cute lil fingerless gloves that turn into mittens if you need extra warmth...
and i got lots of heart ache. :(

I was gonna say something but i cant remember now....

oh yea, I got another job interview on Friday night at Pancake Parlour! hahahah... imagine if i get the job... i'll be eating all the pancakes for dinner. godd... i'll end up looking like a fuckin pancake... round and thick. NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hahahahha... nah but seriously... wish me luck cuz i really want this job. *crosses fingers*

okay i believe it is time for me to ring caryn up now (which means its time for a smokey smokey)

LOVE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
jo

p.s. sheyna & cheche... i miss you two soooooooooo much. *hugs* *mwahhh*

I'm happy

Its 5 am and i'm feeling good...

Love

I love my phone.
Love,
jo

Pretty sure...

I was slacking off doing my assignment by drinking beer w nick and giulia today when this pic was taken. Lol!

Love,
jo

10 things i love

10 things i love

1. i love books. Without books i think i would kill myself because there is not a moment in my life i can remember me NOT reading a book... i may not read intelligent books like Plato and the theory of evolution, but i read what connects to me and usually thats autobiographies, spiritual books and of course... the occasional entertaining chick lit.


2. i love dogs. I had two dogs back in malaysia... both daschunds. One was called Samson and the other was called Princess... Samson ran away when i was 7 *sobs* but that christmas i remember writing a letter to Santa asking for a puppy and also a tent to play with the puppy in. lol. And needless to say i got my puppy...but Santa's reply to me was, "Be a better girl next year and you'll get a tent too" hahaha

3. i love shopping. I am obsessed! it is sooooo bad for me and my wallet and my ever depleting bank account. *sigh* i have too many bags, too many clothes and too few shoes. lol

4. i love singing. i'm sure its torture for mostly everbody around me when i decide to break into a song and dance but tooooo bad! i've always loved singing... i used to be in the childrens christmas choir every year at church, then in the youth choir.. and also part of the sri aman choir. lol. fun fun days...

apparently when i was 6 or something... my aunt got married and at her reception i got up on stage and started singing "Somwhere Out There" from the movie American Tale/Tail(?). My mum was like, "OMG! Thats my kid!!" hahahahaha

5. i love malaysia. Leaving my home was the hardest thing i have ever experienced in my life. Having to just up and leave everything you have ever known, the people you love, the life you have made for yourself... and i was just starting to really enjoy my life too.. it was horrible. I hated my mother for bringing me here and sometimes i still want to just buy a ticket back and say a big "FUCK YOU AUSTRALIA"... but yea... i appreciate every moment i have had in Australia now that I'm older and i am starting to love my life here... friends and more family coming over are making it easier... but i still miss home everyday.

6. i love meeting new people... especially when you meet someone you can just click with immediately... girl or boy whatever but its soo good to just be able to meet someone and know that you will be great friends with them.

also meeting people at parties and stuff is pretty awesome too. :D

7. i love my family. I am sooo lucky to have been born into a massive family that all love each other tremendously... My mum has 7 siblings so that has made me the proud cousin to 24 people. I'm the 3rd eldest (by 4 days!) and having been brought up with so much of love and happiness has really changed my life... it would never be the same without them and thats why its so hard here sometimes... but yea, i have one family over here now, hopefully another one will be on the way.

8. i love my friends. I am so thankful to have so many good friends who i know will always be there for me, not judge me and love me for who i am. Friends beat boyfriends anyday because... yea boyfriends can leave you and you always have to worry bout their love dying or whatever, but friends... you cant leave your friend for anyone. I love allll of them so much... *hugs*

9. i love to write. I used to write alot more when I was younger but now I think i'm starting to get into writing poetry again as well as songs... its just so nice to be able to sit down and put your feelings into words that can reach people... as well as making it easier to understand whats going through your head.

10. i love myself. well... of course! otherwise who would love me?? hahahaha...

Devil i am.

Lol preparing my make up for the devil party tonight is so much more fun than assignments.

Love,
jo

Apparently...

I sound like a ditz in my blog...






























LIKE OMG SERIOUS?!?!
YEA like totalllyyyy!!!

*rolls eyes*


i'm sorry if i don't sound intelligent enough for you but when i write in my blog... i write whatever comes to mind so maybe i am a fucking ditz.

whoever said i was smart anyway? definitely not me.

i dont act or sound or try and be someone i'm not.. what you read is what i am and straight from the heart so a big fat :P to you.



love,
jo

i got bored....

so i decided the best way to relieve boredom was to inflict torture amongst all my readers!

MUAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!

me singing 'Hotel Song' by Regina Spektor



have u died yet?
sorry... :P

love,
jo

warning: goriness ahead

Hi!

its been a while hasnt it? i've just been soooo lazy to update... and not much has happened since i really updated.

I'm on holidays now...but that doesnt mean shit.... it just means that i have to finsh two

assignments by monday! fuckkkkk!!!!

other than that... i worked. Hopefully i'll be going shoppin w my caryn on saturday or friday... not too sure yet. maybe go out drinking friday night then shoppin saturday? then i have to go to work... bah!

ANYHOO!!! it was easter weekend last weekend... and i worked.

the most interesting that happened to me was that i became crippled.... just outside the church doors. i slipped and i really cut up my knee and my toe... and there was blood flying everywhere! it was like a scene from a tarantino movie....... (ok la maybe not that bad but you know i'm a drama queen rite?) BUT IT DID HURT LIKE A BITCH!!!

and... did i see any good samaritans running to my aid?

A BIG FUCKIN NO!

stupid hypocrites.

anyway... here are my war wounds.

love much,

jo

Happy Easter!

I'm so excited.
Off to church then off to work then i'm seeing my kaz! :-*

I guess...

I'm doing ok.
I'll be fine each day.
I'll make it through
Each night without you.

It's harder than i thought it would be...thank god for my family n friends.
Lovemuch,
Jo

mmmm....

hello lovelies,

i feel like crap this morning... dunno why.

anyhoo... i didnt go out last night and i dont know if i'm up for going out tonight... i think i should just stay at home and save my money and spend more time with my family... and maybe finish this god damn assignment of mine.

i dunno... i'm still a bit undecided.

jordan and i... we're going ok. we're friends and we might be going on a movie date tomorrow (as friends) and yea... try and reconnect? i hope it works out...

being without him has made me realise that so many cliches ring true...

"better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all"
"if you love something let it free"
"love conquers all"
"you only hurt the one you love"
"Love is not about who you live with... It's about who you can't live without"
"Love is when you take away the feeling, the passion, and the romance in a relationship, and find out you still care for that person"

ahhhhhhh...... too many sad thoughts for this early in the morning. (9.15 am)

goodnight. back to sleep for me... its easier than being awake and thinking.

lovemuch,
jo

keeping occupied

hello lovelies,

welll the past few days have been sorta bearable sorta not.... just been keeping myself occupied and trying not to think or be idle too much cuz i know if i do i will get all depressed and shit... ala the last post.

so in order of keeping occupied, tonight i will be going to einsteins, tmrw to retro night @ the hawthorn and friday night is air guitar night @ the hawthorn again!

hmmm i might just move there... lol

yea today at uni was hard cuz i was hanging out w my lovelies (also jordans friends) and then jordan appeared... and the tension was so thick you could cut it with a knife.. so i left soon after. it was really bad.

guess i just have to get used to it being like this for a while... being wherever he is not.

*sigh*

love,
jo

singledom

if being single encompasses things like

loneliness
sadness
hurt
being the worst person in the world
being scared to sleep without his arms around me
knowing i cant hold his hand or kiss his lips again
losing his family
losing his friends
losing him

then i dont think i want to be single anymore.


this has got to be one of the hardest points of my life thus far... i know i might sound a bit drama for some but if i do then obviously you dont understand...

jordan has been the only person i've loved for 2 and a half years... losing him is like losing half my heart and right now i'm so confused i dont know what i want and what i dont want.

do i want to be with him? yes
do i want to have my own life? yes
do i want to have a life with him? yes
do i want to think bout myself? yes
do i want to think for him as well? yes

what the fuck is with all these questionS??
this is why i hate confrontation... it makes me think and analyse and realise the shit that is actually happening in my life is really REALLY shit.

i hate it....

be my penguin?

love and what not

hello lovelies,

well this week has been one interesting ride... ups downs inside fuckin outs.

went to einsteins on wed night w caryn, krista and dee and a few more ppl from their apartment and it was really awesome! but the reason i was there with them by myself without jordan was not..

and then we went out again on friday night to the hawthorn to watch some air guitar masters compete! it was so much fun!!! but hmmm jordan wasnt there again... then suddenly he appeared and he left and omg...

the night ended in tears and those of you who were there know why.
but i'm glad we worked things out in the end.

alright... i'll be at einsteins on wednesday. see you there!



love much,
jo

647am

Why the fuck am i still up?!

Blondie

I like them blonde but not yellow! Geez! Lol. Love much, jo

st patty's day!

hey loves,

happy st pats day! just got back from work and i'm so fuckin tired i could just die! DIE!!!!!
anyway, heres a vlog i recorded before i went to work today...



love much,
jo

vlog and pics!

hey guys!

this is my first vlog tht i recorded on thursday evening before i headed out for the traffic light party! so yea... i ramble on a bit which is fine considering its my first vlog ever!!! woooo!



PHOTOS from the traffic light party!

love much,
jo

On the way to uni.

Joy of all joys. Jordan looks so cute doesn't he? Love,jo